The Wedding Styling Appointment I Thought Would Feel Different

I said “yes to the dress” back in November at a local bridal shop (and we actually did do the whole “say yes to the dress” bit..). I have to say though, even though I have watched say yes to the dress a million times before and imagined myself doing it, when it actually came to it, it was super cringe and not the mind blowing moment you think it is going to be. I bought the dress there and then, and she scheduled me in for a styling appointment for February. It came around quick, as wedding events do. This time I brought my mother as she wasn’t with me when I picked the dress.

The moment I didn’t expect

It was very busy in the shop and the assistant informed me that there was a bridal party here, spending the day finding bridesmaids dresses, flower girl dresses and mother of the bride dress. They were sectioned off with a divider in a different part of the shop but I glanced through a few times and there was a buzz in the air. To my surprise, a feeling of envy washed over me as I stood in the dress I’d picked. Envy of what exactly, I couldn’t quite pinpoint. My family have never been the gushing type - that includes myself. But trying a wedding dress on there’s this expectation of everyone around you looking at you with shock and tears on their faces. I was excited to show my mother the dress because I thought she’d really like the style as everything else I had tried up to this point was completely different. So all suited up I came out in the dress, and guess what. Barely a reaction from my mother. It doesn’t upset me, it doesn’t even shock me. Honestly, it grounds me.

Expectations we don’t realise we’re carrying

What I had seen on American tv shows and social media had painted an inaccurate image of what that moment should have felt like. The more I learn about weddings through our business but also planning my own, the more I’m beginning to really understand that we should just let go of expectations and “feelings” we’re meant to have. It should be obvious really, but we are all different and we all have our own quirks, however society has been leading us to believe that when it comes to weddings we should be crying with joy at every core moment of the wedding planning journey.

The veil moment that never was

The part of the show where they try a veil on with the dress and the family start crying and they say those famous words. I can tell you with utter honesty, this is not the moment I had. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lovely shop assistant helping me, but it was definitely much more transactional than I’d anticipated. We found a veil that suited the dress so well, and it came with a hefty price tag of £285. To me that’s a lot, but pretty standard for boutique veils brand new. When she said styling appointment back in November I envisioned in my head a fun filled day of trying on tiaras and shoes and veils. The reality was I came in tried two veils on, heard the price tag, said thank you I’ll let you know and left.

Why it left me feeling overwhelmed

All that appointment succeeded in doing was stress me out, added another 4 things to my to do list and made me feel more overwhelmed. It just reminded me that I’m planning an event without any experience in planning events. I believe the reason it becomes overwhelming, is because every milestone of the wedding planning process is another lesson. You have experts at every point and they’re your teacher for that part and you’re the student trying to grasp each element.

What I actually want people to take from this

I could tell you what I learnt that day in terms of timelines for hiring your seamstress, what shoes to find, where the veil should sit on your head depending whether you have your hair up or down. This is the sort of stuff we will 100% cover in our app in our “Wedding Planning Roadmap.” But here in this blog, I wanted people to read and to learn that it’s ok to feel your true feelings. It’s ok that you tried your dress on without your bridal party. It’s ok if there isn’t 10 people standing around you gushing crying telling you how beautiful you are. It’s absolutely OK to feel stressed and overwhelmed and let it off your chest without that guilt and feeling that you’re failing. Because guess what. Most of us aren’t trained in event planning. So let’s get this notion out of our heads please that we should know what we’re doing the whole time. Wedding planners exist and for the most part it’s a full time job for them. There is literally so much to plan for a wedding that a job exists to assist with this. So please let’s give ourselves a break – and realise that we are trying to fit a full time job with absolutely no experience into our normal life.

A quiet takeaway

This appointment reminded me that not every wedding moment arrives with tears, gasps, or a cinematic soundtrack — and that doesn’t make it wrong. Sometimes it’s just another step in a process you’re learning as you go. Feeling underwhelmed, stressed, or unsure doesn’t mean you’ve failed to “feel enough.” It usually just means you’re planning something big, without any training, while trying to live the rest of your life at the same time. If your experience doesn’t look like the one on TV or social media, you’re not missing something. You’re just having your own version of it - and that’s more than enough.